Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
