Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We just shotgunned beers for America
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
