is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
