it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
