Got a toothbrush?
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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