ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
