she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
