He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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