Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
