Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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