Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
