oh god the rape fog is back!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
