ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
