hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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