This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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