I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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