quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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