HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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