WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
