Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
