This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got inside last night via doggy door
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Never underestimate the power of titties
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
