my mouth tastes like poor choices
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
