"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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