how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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