Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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