Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize