You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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