we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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