I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
operation have a gay friend backfired
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
