the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
