i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
