can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize
