I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
