how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
