how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
