It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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