Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
