he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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