What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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