dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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