put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Floor bacon is actually really good
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
