id be glad to
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
