I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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