the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
