I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
