a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
