there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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