Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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