She went from zero to smokin in five shots
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
