after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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