No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
