Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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